Study: Having Children Through Alternative Methods Does Not Affect Their Relationship with Parents and Their Well-being

Dubai, United Arab Emirates - Parents should stop worrying that their children will face difficulties upon learning that their conception involved the use of assisted reproductive technologies. A decade-long study published this week found that "children are doing fine."

Susan Golombok, the lead author, honorary professor of family research, and former director of the Centre for Family Research at the University of Cambridge in the UK, said: "When we started this study over 20 years ago, there was concern that the lack of a biological connection between the child and the parents could have a detrimental effect on their relationship and the child's well-being." The study concluded that children born through egg donation, sperm donation, and surrogacy are psychologically adjusted to this reality by the time they reach their twenties, especially if parents inform them about the circumstances of their birth before they turn seven.

Golombok explained that "what this research found is that having children in different or new ways does not actually conflict with the function of families. The genuine desire for children seems to outweigh everything else, and that is important."

Mary Riddle, a clinical psychologist and assistant professor of psychology at Pennsylvania State University, commented that the study is "important, in that it represents long-term research." However, Riddle, who was not involved in the study, added that the results do not fully apply to the United States because surrogacy practices can differ in the UK in various ways.

In the UK, surrogate mothers may become part of the family and participate in raising the child they helped conceive, according to Golombok's book titled "We Are Family: The Modern Transformation of Parents and Children," published in 2020. Riddle noted that "in the UK, the involved parents often meet the surrogate mother before the pregnancy, whereas this is not the case in the United States, where matching surrogate mothers is commercial and done through agencies, and they do not have prior relationships with the families for whom they carry children."

Riedel added that it is also common in the United Kingdom to use "partial" surrogacy, where surrogate mothers are impregnated with the sperm of the concerned father, thus becoming the biological mother of the child. She added: "In the United States, surrogacy for pregnancy is most commonly practiced without a genetic link between the surrogate mother and the child she carries, and it is believed that this way the child is less likely to be exposed to psychological and legal risks."

Before reaching the age of seven, a study published in the journal Developmental Psychology on Wednesday followed 65 children, 22 born through surrogacy, 17 through egg donation, and 26 through sperm donation, from infancy until they turned 20 years old. The researchers spoke to the families when the children were one, two, three, seven, ten, and fourteen years old.

The study found that young people who learned about their biological origins before the age of seven reported better relationships with their mothers, and their mothers had lower levels of anxiety and depression. However, Golombok stated that children born through surrogacy have some relationship issues around the age of seven, "which seems to be linked to their increasing understanding of surrogacy at that age."

She said: "We visited the families when the children were ten years old, and these difficulties had disappeared." She pointed out that "Interestingly, the same phenomenon was found among internationally adopted children."

"It may be related to facing identity issues at a younger age than other children." Rebecca Perry, a clinical psychologist and assistant professor in the Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at NYU Grossman School of Medicine, explained that developmentally, children begin to notice and ask questions about pregnancy between the ages of 3 and 4.

Beri, who did not participate in the study, noted that "to satisfy their curiosity, they will start asking questions about children and where they came from as a way to try to understand why they are here." Lori Pash, a psychology professor at the University of California, San Francisco, specializing in infertility and family building, stated that children under the age of 7 will already have a basic understanding of genetics and may be surprised to learn that they are not genetically related to one or both parents.

Pash, who did not participate in the study, believes that "our current thinking is that it is better for parents to share the donor story with their children at a very early age, so that if you ask your child when they become an adult when they learned they were a result of donation, they will respond that they 'have always known that.'" She added: "This allows the child to grow up with the information, rather than learning it later in life and being surprised or shocked, which could harm their trust in their parents and their identity development."

In terms of anxiety and depression among mothers, there was no difference between families formed through surrogacy and egg or sperm donation, and families with children born without assisted conception. The study found no differences in mothers' relationships with their partners at home.

However, mothers who had children through donated eggs reported less positive family relationships compared to mothers who used sperm donation, likely due to insecurity about not having a genetic link to their children, according to Golombok. The study found that young people conceived through sperm donation reported weaker family communication compared to those conceived through egg donation.

Golombok commented that this may be due to greater reluctance on the part of parents to disclose that they are not the biological father. Only 42% of parents who conceived through a sperm donor disclosed how the child was born by the time their children reached 20 years old, compared to 88% of parents who used egg donation and 100% of parents who used a surrogate mother.

When asked, many children said they are not worried about how they were conceived. According to Golombok, "many children said" that "this is not very important."

"I have more interesting things happening in my life," while others said, "actually, it makes me unique." Golombok noted that she enjoys "talking about it."

She continued, "I think it's really good to hear from the children themselves, and I don't think any other study has done that." Golombok pointed out that once informed about it, a child needs to reconsider the circumstances that led to their birth from time to time, so parents should ensure that any conversation is, in fact, ongoing.

Golombok added, "Many parents in our study use children's books specifically designed for this purpose." "Then they can incorporate the child's story into the narrative."