Feelings of Loneliness Are Not Without Solution.. Here Are Steps Recommended by Experts to Improve Your Social Life

- There seems to be a common denominator that brings people together, which is their feeling of isolation. One in five adults in the United States reported feeling lonely "for a significant part of the day" during the year 2024, and the population continues to struggle with what experts describe as a "loneliness epidemic."

Feelings of loneliness are linked to deteriorating health, and the absence of social connections can hinder your success, according to psychologist Dr. Angela Duckworth at the University of Pennsylvania. In her latest book, titled "Situated: Find the People and Places That Bring Out Your Best," Duckworth explains that intrinsic motivation is not the only factor that distinguishes successful individuals; available resources, environment, and the people around them also play a crucial role.

Duckworth says: "We often hear the phrase: you can't control the situation, but you can control how you respond to it." She continued: "I don't think this phrase is accurate, as you can actually control certain aspects of the situation, such as choosing the situations you decide to be a part of."

Many pieces of advice regarding making friends may seem silly, but focusing on three specific areas can have a tangible impact on your social life. The importance of emotional openness before rushing into new relationships; it may be helpful to take a closer look at your surrounding environment and see if you can remove barriers that prevent you from connecting with others.

More specifically, ask yourself how your use of technology affects your social life, whether positively or negatively. In fact, Dr. Sherry Turkle, a professor of social studies of science and technology at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, believes that reliance on technology may increase your feelings of loneliness.

She explained: "Technology has played a significant role in enhancing this matter because it has allowed the possibility of feeling the atmosphere of friendship without bearing the burdens of emotional openness, alongside feeling intimacy without the requirements of that emotional openness." However, she emphasized that "intimacy or friendship cannot be achieved without emotional openness."

People are increasingly turning to AI-powered chatbots for conversations. However, Turkle, author of the book "Artificial Intimacy: What We Become When We Talk to Machines?", states that no matter how human-like the messages may seem, what individuals experience when talking to AI is merely a simulation of empathy and communication, and it is not considered real communication.

To meet your genuine communication needs, she reported that it is essential to talk to people who can understand you, show empathy towards you, discuss with you when opinions differ, and encourage you to practice social skills that make you part of a community. Building your "social muscle" is likely to lead you to meet many people with whom you do not feel a deep connection before you encounter those with whom you do, but they are no less important, according to Dr. Lynn Bufka, a senior executive psychologist for professional practice at the American Psychological Association.

Bufka points out that greeting the employee at the café, waiting in line instead of heading straight to the self-checkout, chatting after a pottery-making session, or joining a running club may seem like simple things. However, these situations can help you cope with feelings of loneliness and prepare you to connect with people who may become important in your life later on.

The outcome may be limited to a friendly exchange that lifts your spirits for the rest of the day, or perhaps a passing greeting keeps you open to the possibility of meeting someone you truly resonate with. Even if none of those things happen, you will have developed a "social muscle" that will help you next time.

Courage and curiosity see Bufka that one of the skills to focus on in your long-term plan to combat loneliness is the ability to tolerate the discomfort that comes with stepping out of your usual comfort zone. Starting a conversation or initiating contact may seem daunting, especially with the uncertainty of the other person's reaction, but viewing it as an 'experiment' rather than a risk of rejection may make the step easier, according to Bufka.

She added: 'It requires us to step out of our comfort zone and not to consider the reactions we receive from others as evidence of their unwillingness to communicate with us.' For Bufka, it simply comes down to 'finding the right person to have that conversation with.'

On his part, Scott Shigiyoka, a fellow of the 'Bridging Differences' initiative at the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, points out that curiosity is another important skill that should be honed. One of the main barriers imposed by the digital world on our lives is that it confines us within closed groups based on who we agree with and who we disagree with.

He explains: 'Curiosity really helps us see the person in front of us and understand their essence.' You don't need to find people who are like you in everything, but you need to learn how to communicate with them, whether through commonalities or differences.